Time spent away

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It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about anything, but this is for good reason. For one, not only was I transitioning to a new city, but I was transitioning into a new job and a new school. So much stress in such a small amount of time. Now that the dust has settled, I see that everything seems to be working out okay. I got my MCAT score back, and I think it’s safe to say I won’t be taking it again. Thank goodness. Secondly, I have decided on the medical schools which I’ll be applying for, which is a large step towards the next couple years. I am hopeful that all of my numerous experiences in direct patient care and research will aid me with this journey. I can only hope to push myself more from this point onward. Wish me luck!

True science, complete with disappointment

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Through the course of my fellowship, there has been one resounding lesson that I’ve learned over and over again. You will fail. You will fail epically in fact. And you will fail more times than you truly care to admit. I’m about 5 months into my project, and much to the disappointment of both my mentor and myself, we’ve had to start over from scratch. Science (genetics in particular) is tricky. Enzymes don’t always do what you want them to do, sometimes machines will kick out at the most important moment, and nucleotides seem to appear out of nowhere. Like seriously, where did half of the sequence of my plasmid come from???? My mentor, who has told me time and time again that he hates working in a lab because of the low success rate of…well everything, displays his anger and frustration in the form of disappointment. If I’ve gained anything from this experience, it’s the fact that I can now encourage those who are hopeless. I think that’s at least one good thing, right?

Can I do it? I’m not sure

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As previously mentioned, I’m having one heck of a time getting myself motivated for my MCAT. I’ve made all the necessary steps; I have a study plan, a binder, a place to study, heck I even have a countdown until my exam to act as a scare tactic. But are these things really working? Nope, not one little bit. I keep thinking about how much I’ve worked all year during school and that all I want to do is sit and relax. I want to read a fictional book while basking in the sun. I want to watch movie marathons and stay up until 5 am. I want to hang out with my friends in areas that are not 1) our university or 2) places where we study. Despite my multiple post it notes, pop-up reminders, and note cards in random places that all say “Do your lessons plans! You can rest when your 50. Don’t procrastinate this; it’s super important!” guess what I do. I am still procrastinating. Woe is me.

And so it begins

~ Melissa ~ 2 Comments

StudyAs a professional procrastinator, I take great pride in my quality under the pressure, deadline, stress-driven work. However, I have been informed time and time again that the MCAT is not one of those exams you want to procrastinate on. It’s sad, but I am just beginning my studies for my August test date. Don’t you dare tell me I should have started sooner, because trust me, I know I should have. It’s all a matter of what I’m comfortable with, and to be honest two and a half months in advance feels way too early for me. So I consider this progress. I know for a fact that I won’t remember a single thing that I am studying now, but hey, at least I can say that I tried.

~ Melissa ~ Leave a comment

Demons run when a good man goes to war
Night will fall and drown the sun
When a good man goes to war

Friendship dies and true love lies
Night will fall and the dark will rise
When a good man goes to war

Demons run, but count the cost
The battle’s won, but the child is lost

-Steven Moffat